The Dating Man's Mind.

Question from Anonymous

Do men ever really think of their FWB as a potential relationship (for when they're ready)? My FWB could not say that he liked me when I asked the question, trying to explain to him how I need more. He just said he didn't feel he needed to tell me that and if I have to question it then maybe it's best for me if we stop seeing each other. What does this mean? Obviously I was hurt by this seeing how it would be so easy for him without me. (Honestly, I could do without him too but I have this thing where I don't like to give up easily because I don't like to say I never tried really hard.) But then I realized he is right, I am not ready for anything commital right now. But it amazed me as to how unempathetic he could be about the way I was feeling. He just told me not to feel that way and I control my own feelings. O_O Is he a heartless man or just a selfish boy right now? His actions are telling me I should let it go. My strength is being spent and I'm afraid it wil get to the point where I don't even care about him anymore. I don't want that. This has been going on for just about a year.

There are definite parameters (mostly unspoken, but expected to be understood), from the male perspective when it comes to a FWB relationship. One of them, being that there is not supposed to be any pressure or “drama” from the female companion.  Most men whom seek the FWB title are not ready for a serious relationship from the onset. The accountability is a factor that men try to avoid.

We also know that achieving a FWB relationship is a rare opportunity. Once gained, we desperately try not to lose it, often times at the expense of the significant other’s feelings. Your description of him as a selfish boy, is more accurate than that of a heartless man.

Men want FWB relationships to purely focus upon receiving physical satisfaction and we ambitiously wish that the female has the same mentality.  Emotions and any other connections are added benefits, although the male focus always remains on the physicality. Any attempted shift in this focus may cause mixed results. 

I hope this helps. 

  1. thedatingmansmind posted this